Dear Morgensternchen: Dutch Salad

Dear Morgensternchen.

Phuuuh the weekend is over and all gradually returns to normal.
We had fantastic weather for a change and even managed to have a BBQ. I think the whole street did and at some point the road was black with smoke.

The reason I made a Dutch Salad and I call it this because the first time I had a version of it was in lovely Zwolle, NL. Well now where was I, oh yes, the reason that I made this lovely salad is that I got accused by my seven year old and I quote:” Mama, your food is a little uninspirational!”, looking down on his bowl of pasta with a homemade tomato sauce. I had make the mistake of instead of freshly sliced morzarella, I’d put some bought, grated cheese over it!!!
That happens when you train of your children in the art of good food. As a peace offering and there is nothing better to create an explosion on those trained pallets I made Dutch Salad.

You’ll need:

250g boiled pasta (Farfalle or any short length pasta will do)
2 TBL spoons pesto salt to taste
Mix together and let cool down.

250g of strawberries quartered, but not sweetened with anything.

150g mixed salad, a rocket mix goes very well combined with maybe lambs lettuce
For the salad dressing:
mix 4 TBL spoons extra virgin olive oil
1 TBL spoon Balsamico ( to taste, depends on what kind of Balsamico you use)
1 tea spoon of honey
1 tea spoon of mustard  Dress the salad.

Roast in a dry pan 50g of pine kernels. Let them cool down.

Crumble up 100g of French goats cheese (Chevre Blanc).

Now for the assembly, you’ll need a deep serving dish.
In the bottom you put the pasta. Top it with the fresh salad. Scatter the strawberries, the cheese and the pin kernels to finish it all off.
 Enjoy.
Sorry this is a post and run. It’s Monday and there is a long list of things-to-do for me :)
Yours The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: A totally female perspective on which camera to choose, after a few people have made the mistake of asking me for my opinion and which camera I have and why!

First I have to make two statements:
 a) I am result orientated! Let me give you a practical example what that means. I own one handbag. In that I have spare batteries, a tape measurer, emergency tools, emergency nail varnish, wipes, money, plaster, lynx deodorant, I have teenagers, magic medicine, as in Haribos, safety pins is standard equipment for mums, so I won’t go any further down that route, short,the lot. To repack that every time would take much too much effort. It is much easier to colour coordinate my wardrobe to make that one handbag fit all. Result! It’s exactly the same with my camera. I’m not a gadget person. I’d like to have one camera that does it all. Basta.
b) I’m a woman. I do not get terrible excited about technical details, so that kind of woman I am! A car needs to have 4wheels and be preferably in an easy recognisable colour, my stereo needs to be capable of playing music and I’d like to make phone calls with my mobile. And that’s where the problem starts. Recently in a camera shop, because I need a new camera, after years it’s time to part, so in that camera shop that lovely man, very proud of his job, started to suggest cameras to me. He really tried hard, but it just doesn’t work with me. After third D-suchandsuch is better because soandso I had a shutdown. A complete shutdown.

I shoot with a Nikon D60. I bought it 3 years ago to get me back into photography. Years and years ago or in the olden days, as my charming children like refer to, I used to do the lot ant uni when we were still on film. I did develop my own films and prints. Somehow life got in the way and I never made the transition to digital. When Morgensternchen got me into blogging I needed however pictures. I bought the Nikon D60, because I’m a Nikon person and because the D60 was on sale.
The D60 is what I call a sunshine camera. She does what she is supposed to do in good weather or generally in good conditions. If all you want is to take a snapshot here or a snapshot there she is all right. Question though is why would you want a DSLR in the first place if for that? If that’s all you want why not go for a Panasonic DMC range!? I personally don’t own one, but what I see on flickr are fantastic results (reminder ... point a) I made earlier, results). Leaves the D90 as a minimum starter camera. However I would personally recommend the Nikon D7000. It is a little more expensive, but and this is a big but, you get so much more out of it. In photography you get what you pay for. To name a few the D7000 is weather sealed, very handy at the rugby pitch, great image quality and the higher ISO is good for indoors.

To cut this long story short I pre ordered the D800. I had my eye originally on the D700, however after long collaboration and because the D800 has a movie function and less noise at higher ISO, something very important when you can’t use flashlights or any other lights I decided to go big. I’m doing a lot of sports, rugby and judo mainly, portraits and abstract landscapes and street and younameitIdoit photography. So I need a clever all-rounder. I don’t think it is a starter camera though and I’m convinced it is far to advanced for me, but I’m a quick learner, determined and competitive. I feel at the moment I pushed old Donna (that’s what my D60 is called) too much in too many directions, you name it, she had to endure it. She needs a break from me.
 I shall report back my findings of the D800. Haven’t got a name yet. That will be the most difficult bit.
In the meantime one thing I can recommend is the lens. If it fits on your camera get it: the AF-S Nikkor 70-300mm 4.5-5.6 VR. The stabiliser is amazing. There is a more light sensitive version, but also a lot more expensive. I’m almost so far to say I’m not only a one handbag woman, but also a one lens woman  One way or the other if I had to choose three things to take on a lonely island with me: this lens would probably the first thing I’d pack!

Have a lovely weekend, my friend!
Yours
The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: Surpriiiiiiiise!

Dear Morgensternchen,

juhu, yes it's me. I can see you are rubbing your little eyes in disbelieve....

Now calm down, get yourself a nice cup of coffee, seek a sunny spot somewhere in the garden, thanks to wifi and read on.

Or is Malkreis?

Remember you asked me what I was going to cook for lunch. Well just recently back from Italy we fancied some pasta.
This is the easiest recipe you'll ever encounter: wild garlic pesto pasta!

You'll need for four people:
500g spagetti
15 leaves of wild garlic (Baerlauch in German)
2 tips of fresh thyme ( and this is the secret ingredient, which makes all the difference)
2 tbl spoons of a good mild olive oil
1 tbl spoon of soya cream ( another secret ingredient, or alternatively cream)
200g of grated mild cheddar or what ever cheese you fancy, maybe an older gouda
salt to season

And now for the magic. Boil your pasta as per instruction.
In the meantime chop the wild garlic leaves into fine strips. Try to chop the thyme as fine as possible. Add both to a bowl with the oil, the soya cream and some salt and mix thoroughly.
Drain the pasta and mix in the wet garlic pesto.
Serve with cheese on top.
Easy, fantastic, tasty! Food in under 15 minutes!
Enjoy.

Yours
The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: One Goes West

Dear Morgensternchen,

Malkreis?

On Monday we have a 3 hour operational delay in Chicago! This is my first glimpse of  Americans. I can safely say now, they look like everybody else. 
 I do struggle with the language barrier though. A lovely lady from way down south decides to engage in a conversation. Best and beloved husband asks me afterwards what she said. I have to admit, I haven't got the faintest idea what this lovely woman talked about!

On Tuesday I break my leg. I wish I could say skiing down deep dark black pistes I hit a mogul! I slip at the lift and do a not so graceful backwards flip with my skii going forward. My leg says no to this transaction and brakes.

On Wednesday I'm in surgery. The rest of the day I sleep.

On Thursday I watch 19 home improvement programs. Design to Sell, Design to Let, Divine Design, Curb Appeal , oh yes and not to forget Property Virgin… you name it, I've seen it. Copper rain chains, orange velvet and not to forget chocolate brown carpets are the stuff my nightmares are now made from!

On Friday I get my wheelchair and disappear.

I swear I am the same one M as before and yet people look straight through me. “Does she need help?” addressed at best and beloved husband... “Hellooooo, I'm down here and broke my leg and not my mouth!”

What an eye opening experience this is!

On Saturday I do my first step...

I read a book by Haruki Murakami about running. He quotes an American author in it, forgotten the name. However, I'm re-translating it now back into English and it may loose a little: “Pain is sometimes inevitable, suffering is optional!”

… and do a second step!

On Sunday the sun shines in Colorado and we go to one of these American burger/steak places... washed down with a bud and the world seems suddenly a much better place … the fact that the local police has their dinner there, had absolutely nothing to do with the big grin in my face! (… yes all in uniform ;-)

I booked a table for Monday.... the fire fighters go there Mondays..... 

Lot's of love deary

The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: Sunshine in a Cup!

Dear Morgensternchen,

on Monday best beloved husband of all brought back gouda from Amsterdam. This man knows the way to my heart!

However due to that fact I'm still unable to join the tulip mania at present.
(Tulpe uit Amsterdam )

On Tuesday I learned that the male mosquito is a vegetarian. Only the female bite!

On Wednesday,inspired by those facts of vegetarianism and since I'm cooking lunch for my builders, yes they are still here, one of them gave a long speech about that that vegetarianism is a whole load of crab, while stuffing his face with a lovely vegan dish I had made that day. Funny how easily one can convince people without a word need saying!

On Thursday I had to hunt down club penguin, the ninja ones! The must have this spring season for any gentleman of a certain age! The only problem was, I kept forgetting what they were called and started my search by asking for fighting pigeons!

On Friday I rammed my car into the garage door, which I swear was open when I checked in the rear mirror. It must have closed itself as if by magic, while I was choosing a gear to reverse!

On Saturday I happened to overhear following conversation:
“You're dead!”
“No, I'm not!!”
“Yes, you are! Your blue light is on!”
“It didn't beep!!”
“It does not always beep!”
“Oh!”
“Told you so!”
“Am I really, really dead?”
“Yep!”
“ Maaammmmaaa? I'm dead!”
“I'm so sorry to hear, darling! Would you like some ice scream?”
++++stop press++++ latest news: a mother from Shropshire has found the ultimate cure to worse case scenario: icecream! She adds: “Especially with chocolate I seem to achieve particularly good results!”++++++

Oh finally Sunday, beautiful day... rugby time again! Remembered the camera, had a full battery and yes even a card inserted! Forgot to change lenses though... the nifty fifty ain't helpful on a rugby pitch! Unless you like green grass and lot's of little dots somewhere in the distance!

Monday again....

Yours
The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: Postcard

The Week

On Monday I went grocery shopping in a very big supermarket. So big, they had their own radio station. Radio station tape that is.... I was informed that the Aubergine is the vegetable of the day!

On Tuesday had the car full of children discussing the question what happens if mermaids fart! I leave the outcome to your imagination.

On Wednesday I learned that being unmarried can shorten a man's life by 10 years! My husband does not believe that!

On Thursday I discovered the beautiful world of radiators. Although as intriguingly good looking as they are I prefer them on the wall and warm. However I'm very grateful for the opportunity to have shared their backside with you!

On Friday I'm still thinking about that the Chilean earthquake altered the earth's axis and ultimately altered space and time.

On Saturday I was hunting down click-clack pop up wastes for with no overflow! I quote: “A contemporary and visually appealing exposed click-clack pop up waste with revolutionary knuckle joint mechanism!”End quote Mr Adamsez.

On Sunday we won the Rugby festival! Only minor casualties: lost the third toe in to frost bites. What little price to pay for gold!

Another Monday and I wonder what this week will bring ...

Yours
The one M

Teaparty

Dear Morgensternchen,

look what I found! Cookie jars!
Happy now... I'll promise to write properly at the end of this building extravaganza!
Speak to you soon.
Yours
The one M
PSCasa di Falcone Verlosung

Liebes Morgensternchen: Bin baden gegangen!

Liebes Morgensternchen,

jetzt wo wir die Flat Rate haben, telefonieren wir eben oefter ... da komm ich gar nicht mehr zum schreiben!

Verspreche hoch und heilig mich zu bessern!

Busserl
The one M

Dear Morgensternchen:Happy New 2010!

All the best for 2010... can you believe it!? A whole decade over!

Big kiss
The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: What a Year!

Dear Morgensternchen,
I know that the Malkreis has finished for this year!
... since I have a glimpse of internet... never know when it breaks down again:
MERRY CHRISTMAS to  you and your family and of course all our flickr and blogging friends!

Biggest of all hugs possible
from
your
The one M

Liebes Morgensternchen: Weihnachtsdeko aus Zimt und Nelken

Liebes Morgensternchen,
Malkreis?

Also, Du fraegtest mich einst, es scheint schon ewig her, dass Du hier warst und wir auf diese Wahnsinns-Safari gezogen sind, nun ja, Du fraegtest mich nach diesen kleinen Stinkern, die das Haus so wunderbar nach Zimt und Nelke erduften lasset!

Das unterige, ist vom letzten Jahr, schimmelt nicht und riecht immer noch ganz propper!

Also, um Himmelswillen nicht essen, also Du brauchst:

Apfelmus, Du liest richtig, so'n Poetchen, kleines
gemahlenen Zimt, nicht gemalten (prmmpf), schoenes Paketchen, vom Inder
gemahlenen Nelke
Wachholderbeeren zum verzieren
bisken Kleber
... und wenn 'de hast Ausstechformen. Ich kann meine nie finden. Geht auch ohne.

Aus den ganzen Zutaten formst Du einen Teig, der wird ein bischen fluessiger und klebriger als Muerbeteig, aber so die Richtung.

Dann lassen wir der Kreativitaet einmal ganz freien Lauf und formen wie die Wilden.
Nicht das Loeksken fuer's Schleifken vergessen!
Ab zum trocknen, auf der Heizung auf einem Tablet am Besten, der Trockner eignet sich jetzt nicht so ganz dazu!

Die Beeren habe ich dann festgeklebt, beim Trocknen schrumpft dit janze und die fingen an rumzukullern. Man kann alles Moeglich wenn 'se trocken sind zum decorieren gebrauchen.

so sehen meine aus:

Liebste Gruesse aus dem
"es koennte schneien" London

Dein
Das eine M

Liebes Morgensternchen: Poststreik!

Liebes Morgensternchen,

Malkreist ihr?
Kann jetzt gut sein, dass Du gleich ein paar Briefe auf einmal kriegst! Bei uns streiket die Post!

But first things first: Wir mussen dem Herrn E noch zum Geburtstag gratulieren! Natuerlich standesgemaes mit einem Venezianer! Prost!

Mit JR muessen wir auch noch anstossen, ist zwar nicht ihr Geburtstag, aber was zum feiern wird sich schon finden lassen, oder!?

Irgendwie kehrt mit dem Herbst auch die Ruhe ein, die Lust auf Kaminfeuer und deftiges Essen, Behaglichkeit und schwerer Portwein! Weihnachten wird dann wieder schon so hektisch, auch wenn ich mir jedes Jahr fest vornehme diesmal nicht! However, jetzt ist die Jahreszeit, komisch ich hab das immer im Herbst, nicht an Silvester, mal so kurz zu resumieren!

War schon ein ziehmlich aufregendes Jahr.

So und jetzt zurueck zu den nackten Tatsachen: das Rezept fuer's gefuellte Huehnerchen!
Ich seh ein, das die Versorgungslage bei Euch, mit Huehnchen kritisch ist! Ich sehe nicht ein, warum das ganze nicht auch mit Alfon's Kaninchen gehen sollte koennen, da wir ja das letzte Mal aus selbigen Poulet d'Alsace gemacht haben.
Nein, ich werde den Kindern nicht sagen, dass das suesse Kanin, dass sie gestern noch Lola getauft haben, heute auf ihrem Teller liegt!

In Mengen mach ich ja nicht, also soviel von Alfonsos Kanickeln, wie Du denkst. Brot zum fuellen, dieser, wird mit Ei, Leber, weiss nicht ob so ne Kanickelleber was her gibt, sonst musst Du Huehnerleber nehmen, eine Scheibe einer Knoblauchzehe, also minimalst... ab in den Mixer und ganz fein puerriren. Darf nicht zu matschig werden, so die Konsistenz von Muerbeteig! Gehackte Peter's Ilie dazu und fertig ist die Fuellung. Ich mach kein Salz dran, wir essen aber auch wenig und Pfeffer schon gar nicht. Kannste aber gerne machen. Ich bin da nicht engstirnig!

Kanickel fuellen und zumachen mim Faedchen!

So, jetzt zum jungen Gemuese! Einen grossen Topf mit Kartoffel, Karotten, Lauch, ich hatte neulich Fenchel, Boehnchen aller Art z.B. nur nicht Brokoli oder Blumenkohl, die stinkern und zerkochen zu leicht! Allet in 'nen Pott, wenn Du frische Bruehe hast, mit der auffuellen, sonst Knorr und Wasser!
Ich muss dann immer daran denken, dass im Blue Elephant Kochbuch, Maggi als Geheimgewuerz genannt wird!

Zurueck zur heimischen Kueche, alles schoen bedeckt halten und kochen bis es gar ist. So'n Huhn braucht schon 1 1/2 Stunden. Musste mit den Hueppern halt ausprobieren. Kannst ja die Nummer vom Krankenhaus an den Kuehlschrank heften!

So jetzt kommet La piece de la resistance: The Sauce!
Pro Person ein gekochtes Ei, puerriert, dann mit Philladelphia Frischkaese, ein bisken Mayo, gehackter Persilie, ich kann nicht wiederstehen, dieses Wort laedt einfach zum verunglimpfen ein, und gehackter Kapern zu eine dicken Sosse vermischen.

Beim Servieren kriegt jeder ein Stueck Fleisch, reichlich Gemuese, alles so ein bischen in dem Sud schwimmend mit einem dicken Klecks von unser Mayo!

Was meinst Du, sollen wir Steven einladen! Dem koennte das gefallen!

Ich hab jetzt richtig Hunger. Wollten heute eigentlich im BE essen gehen, ham aber alle 'nen Bug!

So big hug from bugged
One M

Dear Morgensternchen: Postcard

Dear Morgensternchen,

I worry about Jim! Have you heard anything?

Wanted: JSM, friendly fellow from ORD!
What's up man?

Hope he gets in touch soon!

The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: Piccadilly 's Calling

Dear Morgensternchen,

Malkreis?

It was a glorious day today... super sunshiny Thursday!
Yes, I met up with Anna for coffee in her hunting ground so to speak. We went to cheerful little place near Oxford Street! Yes, I couldn't believe it myself, those places do still exist.
Risking to sound like Miss Marple, the cup cakes were divine!

However, I took the opportunity to go a little photo shooting after.
Piccadilly is such a great area to do that. So I happily toddle along, when stopped by two foreign students. Gosh, I can't believe how English I have become! They wanted to know if and where there is a supermarket . Although, I knew what was coming, I waited patiently, English, until this young man had finished his question, before I started with my answer, that there is no supermarket as such at Piccadilly, funny enough there is a Boots though! Thinking of it now! Probably makes sense... with all the bars around we need painkillers not food!

Along comes another human being, from somewhere out of the Commonwealth, waits patiently, you see that's why he must have been from somewhere in the Commonwealth, waits until those two foreign students have finished, to ask me where Fortnum and Maison was.
I told him and just out of curiosity I asked him: " Why me? I don't look like an official London tour guide. I could, with my camera, even be a tourist!" He looks up and down and goes:"Naa, not a tourist!" "Why not?" He grins: " You are on your own and someone like you, wouldn't travel alone!" he says and disappears.

And while I'm still thinking about that statement, I spot a middle-aged, tourist, couple and before they can even think of a question, offer my services as a walking info! They look slightly puzzled and reassure me that they are absolutely fine and totally aware of where they are! "Fine! Good! But don't say afterwards I hadn't offered!"

Must have to do with my aura: the aura of competence!

Yours
The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: War of the Roses!

Dear Morgensternchen,

I know there is no Malkreis.

You remember in my last letter I had taken beloved and best husband of all's sports car to get the little ones to their rugby training.

I thought it was highly overreacting to shout at me because I hadn't realised, since my beautiful ship of a car is an automatic, that his's wasn't. I admitt, it was really quite noisy in second gear on the motorway, but somehow I thought, this is how it has to be. After all, why would you want to drive a sports car in the first place:
you can't get into them, nor gracefully out of them. One sits on the floor, well basically and looks into other peoples exhaust pipes! Very exciting it's not!

Now he got really upset and again it wasn't my fault solely, but more because my beautiful ship of a car has these sensors. Whenever I try to park my beautiful ship of a car, it kindly starts to beep when I get to close to what ever object is actually in the way. As soon as it seems to sound as if it had a heart attack I know I have to choose one of the pedals, choice of two, so 50/50, to break.


Somehow the fact that sports cars, another reason not to drive one, don't have these simple necessities wasn't made known to me. So now his bumpers both have, what I think is a tiny dent in both front and rear! After all this is London, which car hasn't got a dent or scratch.

Obviously beloved and best husbands of all car didn't have one.
My personal view is: now I declare this sports car officially a Londoner.

Beloved and best husband of all went without a word to the legal department!

An our later he was back, with the  news, to repair them bumpers is much cheaper then a divorce.

However...the war is on!

He waters my artificial plants, dribbles glue in my shoes, puts a red sock in my white washing, leaves the loo seats up, swoppsmy lipstick with shoe paste, doesn't close any doors or drawers and worst of all serves my coffee in bed in the morning, my first latte in bed in the morning, I should really say, without foamy milk and chocolate. Disaster!

I shall have to think of something!

Yours

The one M

Dear Morgensternchen: Rugby Duties!

Dear Morgensternchen,

I know you flickr right now! Saw you!

Far too late for the Malkreisladies!

However, yesterday I have been on rugby duty! Normally you see, I don't do rugby, because it is far to early on a Sunday morning. I usually don't reach my Betriebstemperatur before 11.00am. This Sunday though, the family was split up due to a festival. So I was left with  the little ones to attend the training at base camp.

Luckily I realised very early on, that is was indeed rugby and not football. It's very easy to distinguish between the two:

If the ball looks like an egg and the players behave like hooligans, it's rugby.
If the ball is round and the SPECTATORS behave like hooligans, it's football.

With that established I happily assisted putting tags on, setting cones up... and was instantly promoted assistant coach. There was little shortage of coaches due to that festival.

Now: a sweet "darling keep the line" didn't work at all. How could I possibly shout at other peoples children. An awe full dilemma.

... and then the whistle went... gosh was I shouting: "hold the ... line!"... "...touch down with both hands you..." " ...ram them into the ground you..." "...finish them of you little..."

Needless to say, we won!

It was a bit funny, as much as my team of six yearolds seem to appreciate me throwing myself completely into it, we are talking rugby here! The parents kept strangely a safe distance to me in the club house after.

On the way back I found out, had taken best hubbie's there is car, because he needed the big one with so many to transport, that that stick in the middle is a gear box. Second gear on the motorway, was a bit noisy... but then it's a sports car. You would want to make some noise.

I don't think he'll divorce me, but it was a close one.

Lot's of testosterone for one day... I'm still exhausted! ... and it's only Monday!

Yours
The one M

Here! Yuhu... Monsieur G!

If you scroll down to the bottom of this page, there is a small map on the right hand site.
Now Montreal has a little dot too!
The one M

Liebes Morgensternchen: Hunger!

Liebes Morgensterchen,

Malert ihr?

Wolltest auf facebook wissen, was ich heute koche. Das!:

Also erst einmal Gemuese fuer, wieviele Leute bei Euch kommen zu tu-en sind, waschen, vierteln und das uebliche. Man kann nehmen Kartoffelen, Zucchinis, Karotten, Zwiebeln, Oliven, Kapern, aber ganz bestimmt in Oel eingelegte, sonnengetrocknete Tomaten. Selbige abtroepfeln lassen. Allet in eine Schuessel und mit den sonnengetrockneten, in Oel eingelegten, abgetropften Tomaten, mit ein bisschen Schiselaweng durchmischen und in eine feurefeste Form geben.
Darauf schichten wir dann munter Huenerbusens, wie die lieben Kleinen immer sagen, ebenfalls mengenmaessig abhaengig von wieviele Leute bei Euch kommen zu tu-en sind. So ein Huenerbusen pro Nase, sollte es tu-en!
Zu letzt alles mit Bacon andecken, so dass ein Bacon Deckel entsteht ... grmpf...kicher...
Dann ein gutes Stuendchen, ja der Ofen sollte schon ziehmlich heiss sein, 150? von mir aus auch180, in die Roehre.
Wenn'ste die Kartoffelen anpieckst und die schoen und ganz durch und durch weich, iss'es gut.

Wenn der Bacon anfaengt zu braun zu werden, kannste die ganze Schose mit Alu abdecken.

Guten Appetit... geh jetzt Essen! Die Brut wird naemlich schon zickig, weil Muttern erst mal allet fotografieren muss...

 Dein eines M

PS Schmeckt lecka!
PS2 Habe vergessen zu sagen, dass ich die Huehnerbusens mit Nudelhols geplaettet habe! Einfach drueber rollen!
PS3 Bloss nicht salzen. Ist genuegend im Bacon und wenn'ste das machst, in den Oliven oder Kapern.

Dear Morgensternchen: Postcard

Dear Morgensternchen,

... painters round?

I have, yes I know I said never ever again will I engage with social activities of any kind, even if I'm bored to death on a cold, often rainy football pitch... were was I? Oh OK, I have taken over the match teas for the kids at the football club.

You wouldn't believe the amount of so called "well meant" comments, tips and ideas I get. One gets to believe, I have taken over the United Nations.
I should try this, I should do that... I wonder if they feel so strongly about it, why don't they run it themselves?!

However, you know me, I quickly developed techniques of avoidance.

My first tactic was to put both index fingers in each of my two ears, at the same time. Then I would start humming or singing a lovely tune from my childhood, which would make me feel comfortable. I only would remove them, if there was no sign of mouth movement, which usually meant they had stopped talking.
This technique didn't go down so well, as I had hoped.

Soon after I developed  a more sophisticated approach with the help of beloved and best husband of all.
First  step of this strategy is to put ear (noise reduction) plugs in. The family is briefed and communicates purely by sign language with me.

Second step is, since you don't hear anything, if people talk to your face, put on a stupid grin and nod so obviously, that there is no doubt, that you didn't get it at all.

Final step is then, towards the end of the teas, entry hubby, beloved and best of all, shouts, preferably from the other end of the room, to remind you to switch your hearing aid on!

Funny enough that shuts everybody down!?

 Yours

 The one M

 PS Should you wish to try this technique... never take the ear plugs out at the footy... unless you wish to hear what people are talking behind your back ;-)

Dear Morgensternchen: The Deeper Meaning of Life

Dear Morgensternchen,

are you guys creatively circling the canvases? Giggle!
However, we started this discussion, we'll bring it to an end!
Here are the latest questions to discover the deeper meaning of life:

The first question has to be, why you don't get splinters from wood bark as you get from wood itself?
JR! what were you thinking... at that whiskey again... were you? However I did ask the experts, here is their answer:
Because the wood bark is a completely different texture than wood. The fibres in the wood, when dried, make the splinters, where as the bark is crumbly, when dried out... and by the way, it is much more fun, to dive head first in a heap of leaves than into bark chippings!
I may add that my experts are 6,7 and 9 and warn you, at our age it may not be advisable to jump head first at all. A graceful backwards flip should here the method of choice!

The kids came up with: why do we get homework?
Because grown ups are mean, intolerant and negligent people and haven't got a clue what childhood is about. Time to remember the inner child! I just squeezed tomato sauce over their homework. I got lynched! So they do secretly like their homework! Ha!

Why is there no peace in the house?
You may guess that that's hubbies question.
What with 5 kids, dog, cat and a hamster? You are joking! You should have kept your bachelor pad!

Why is it that drop dead gorgeous, always dressed right, mum at school even wins the prize for the best cake!?
What with 5 kids, dog, cat and hamster?! You didn't even enter the competition!

Favourite saying?
Well, if you had found that post-it with my favourite saying and hadn't misplaced it in the first place, THAT would be it... so now I have to think...
I do like Regina Brett's 36st: Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

Second favourite saying?
Shit happens!

 And why does shit always happen in sequences of at least threes?
Because it senses that we are vulnerable. It knows when and where to hit us! It is a clever little something! ... and probably because we never trust good times to last ... and are just waiting for the next shit thing to happen!

 I do like this one: why does a toast always fall on that side where you had put the jam on?
That's a really good question and after some flightpath calculation, I can confirm that is is because that side is heavier! Heaviest touch down first!



What's the difference between a man and a woman?
If you don't know it by know (you can obviously read this) there is no hope you'll ever find out. However, there is a simple trick: if it parks a car in a small space very quickly, just to be the first person at the remote control, it is probably the male version of this species. If it asks for directions and picks up everything the male has dropped, you can be pretty certain it's the female version. Due to the breeding program and more expensive schools  however, there can be interferences. Plan B is check curves and beards. Again use all those parameters with precaution.
It's very easy with the modern teenager though: the cloud of fragrances they tend to surround themselves with is a give away!

I hope you find this enlightening.
I'm looking forward to your question and answers.
Yours

The one M

PS Everything in blue are LINKS!