I know there is no Malkreis.
You remember in my last letter I had taken beloved and best husband of all's sports car to get the little ones to their rugby training.
I thought it was highly overreacting to shout at me because I hadn't realised, since my beautiful ship of a car is an automatic, that his's wasn't. I admitt, it was really quite noisy in second gear on the motorway, but somehow I thought, this is how it has to be. After all, why would you want to drive a sports car in the first place:
you can't get into them, nor gracefully out of them. One sits on the floor, well basically and looks into other peoples exhaust pipes! Very exciting it's not!
Now he got really upset and again it wasn't my fault solely, but more because my beautiful ship of a car has these sensors. Whenever I try to park my beautiful ship of a car, it kindly starts to beep when I get to close to what ever object is actually in the way. As soon as it seems to sound as if it had a heart attack I know I have to choose one of the pedals, choice of two, so 50/50, to break.
Somehow the fact that sports cars, another reason not to drive one, don't have these simple necessities wasn't made known to me. So now his bumpers both have, what I think is a tiny dent in both front and rear! After all this is London, which car hasn't got a dent or scratch.
Obviously beloved and best husbands of all car didn't have one.
My personal view is: now I declare this sports car officially a Londoner.
Beloved and best husband of all went without a word to the legal department!
An our later he was back, with the news, to repair them bumpers is much cheaper then a divorce.
However...the war is on!
He waters my artificial plants, dribbles glue in my shoes, puts a red sock in my white washing, leaves the loo seats up, swoppsmy lipstick with shoe paste, doesn't close any doors or drawers and worst of all serves my coffee in bed in the morning, my first latte in bed in the morning, I should really say, without foamy milk and chocolate. Disaster!
I shall have to think of something!
Yours
The one M
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