Dear Morgensternchen,
( My kitchen during revision time!)
You would like to know what revision time is!
Well...Just those simple words create shock waves through the parental spine.
It’s revision time again, you gonna leave me. I can see that far away look in your eyes... Concentrate child! Exams are lurking around the corner! You don’t have time... any time... no daydreaming! Do you UNDERSTAND? Earth to child, do you copy?
Panic, panic seems a good concept.
It is about that week, half term, in May when search engines go in overload. Bite size is the magic word. At the end of it are the exams, mock or not, they have to be taken seriously.
Revision time is when the sale of valium and ulcer treatments goes through the roof.Revision list? I’ve got French, swop with RE.
What, they gave us the wrong revision list?! This is NOT FUNNY! They did that on purpose. Evil!
In the revision week we, as in parents, don’t sleep, don’t eat. We run around with shadows underneath our eyes as big as car tyres.
Romans, percentages, grammar and spellings... come on, this has to be quicker. The Aztecs used crushed black beetles to treat spots. Do I really want to know?!
Food chains... Sainsbury’s?
Text messages just fly back and forth and slow down the whole mobile network. Last minute tips and hints.
Tudors... do we do Tudors? Aren’t Tudors so last year?
I don’t care about Madame’s feelings and if Monsieur Roche’s hobbies are exciting. Je regrette. Je ne compront pas. I don’t want to!
Magnetism. Well, is when this metal thingies stick to the magnet, which is usually red and blue. I never liked red and blue. Pink and blue are so much nicer.
Rainforest. Definitely. Lots of rain I would think. Water cycle... evaporation is what seems to happen to my glass of wine in the evening, when I finally collapse on the sofa.
Not forgetting that Chisinau is the capital of Moldova ... and no, Belgium is not the capital of Germany.
Streets are deserted... just plenty of those little motorbikes that deliver the thousands of take always during that time. Time to cook? Are you mad? I have to work out what human geography is. It’s not humane! It’s fierce. It creeps up on you in the middle of the night. Makes you wake up in cold sweat. Where is the difference between human and environmental geography?
Why oh why?
Then we go back to school. Have Lucosates ready. Quick head and neck massage and of into the arena. Remember this, remember that. Last minute checks.
Just a little elbowing at the results board and...
... and finally... it’s all over! Forget carnival in Rio. Come to United Kingdom, where you will find parents united. Dancing in the streets. Hugging each other. Sharing these moments of total inner relief. It’s over, it’s going to be our entire parental fault, but it is over. Tranquillity returns to the house. We talk normally again. We care again.
Blessed are those who don’t know what revision is.
Blessed are you me dear friend.
You did ask.
Yours faithfully
The One M
( My kitchen during revision time!)You would like to know what revision time is!
Well...Just those simple words create shock waves through the parental spine.
It’s revision time again, you gonna leave me. I can see that far away look in your eyes... Concentrate child! Exams are lurking around the corner! You don’t have time... any time... no daydreaming! Do you UNDERSTAND? Earth to child, do you copy?
Panic, panic seems a good concept.
It is about that week, half term, in May when search engines go in overload. Bite size is the magic word. At the end of it are the exams, mock or not, they have to be taken seriously.
Revision time is when the sale of valium and ulcer treatments goes through the roof.Revision list? I’ve got French, swop with RE.
What, they gave us the wrong revision list?! This is NOT FUNNY! They did that on purpose. Evil!
In the revision week we, as in parents, don’t sleep, don’t eat. We run around with shadows underneath our eyes as big as car tyres.
Romans, percentages, grammar and spellings... come on, this has to be quicker. The Aztecs used crushed black beetles to treat spots. Do I really want to know?!
Food chains... Sainsbury’s?
Text messages just fly back and forth and slow down the whole mobile network. Last minute tips and hints.
Tudors... do we do Tudors? Aren’t Tudors so last year?
I don’t care about Madame’s feelings and if Monsieur Roche’s hobbies are exciting. Je regrette. Je ne compront pas. I don’t want to!
Magnetism. Well, is when this metal thingies stick to the magnet, which is usually red and blue. I never liked red and blue. Pink and blue are so much nicer.
Rainforest. Definitely. Lots of rain I would think. Water cycle... evaporation is what seems to happen to my glass of wine in the evening, when I finally collapse on the sofa.
Not forgetting that Chisinau is the capital of Moldova ... and no, Belgium is not the capital of Germany.
Streets are deserted... just plenty of those little motorbikes that deliver the thousands of take always during that time. Time to cook? Are you mad? I have to work out what human geography is. It’s not humane! It’s fierce. It creeps up on you in the middle of the night. Makes you wake up in cold sweat. Where is the difference between human and environmental geography?
Why oh why?
Then we go back to school. Have Lucosates ready. Quick head and neck massage and of into the arena. Remember this, remember that. Last minute checks.
Just a little elbowing at the results board and...
... and finally... it’s all over! Forget carnival in Rio. Come to United Kingdom, where you will find parents united. Dancing in the streets. Hugging each other. Sharing these moments of total inner relief. It’s over, it’s going to be our entire parental fault, but it is over. Tranquillity returns to the house. We talk normally again. We care again.
Blessed are those who don’t know what revision is.
Blessed are you me dear friend.
You did ask.
Yours faithfully
The One M
2 comments:
Wonderful to hear that there's hope for a new philosophical foundation found at your kitchen table. I will be reading with rapt attention.
Thanks for joining mine, although you will soon see that I am still clueless. :-)
ananji
Maybe you try a different kitchen table. Worked wonders with me ;-)
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