Dear Morgensternchen: Postcard

Dear Morgensternchen,

... painters round?

I have, yes I know I said never ever again will I engage with social activities of any kind, even if I'm bored to death on a cold, often rainy football pitch... were was I? Oh OK, I have taken over the match teas for the kids at the football club.

You wouldn't believe the amount of so called "well meant" comments, tips and ideas I get. One gets to believe, I have taken over the United Nations.
I should try this, I should do that... I wonder if they feel so strongly about it, why don't they run it themselves?!

However, you know me, I quickly developed techniques of avoidance.

My first tactic was to put both index fingers in each of my two ears, at the same time. Then I would start humming or singing a lovely tune from my childhood, which would make me feel comfortable. I only would remove them, if there was no sign of mouth movement, which usually meant they had stopped talking.
This technique didn't go down so well, as I had hoped.

Soon after I developed  a more sophisticated approach with the help of beloved and best husband of all.
First  step of this strategy is to put ear (noise reduction) plugs in. The family is briefed and communicates purely by sign language with me.

Second step is, since you don't hear anything, if people talk to your face, put on a stupid grin and nod so obviously, that there is no doubt, that you didn't get it at all.

Final step is then, towards the end of the teas, entry hubby, beloved and best of all, shouts, preferably from the other end of the room, to remind you to switch your hearing aid on!

Funny enough that shuts everybody down!?

 Yours

 The one M

 PS Should you wish to try this technique... never take the ear plugs out at the footy... unless you wish to hear what people are talking behind your back ;-)